She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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