I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
