So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
