Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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