i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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