Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
