The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
