He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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