i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
