There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
