im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
