I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
