K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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