Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
