you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
