No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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