My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
