best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
