When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
