You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize