She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
