remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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