So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
