I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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