So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
