Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
