Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
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