My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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