she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
