You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
