bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
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