I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?