I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
