Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
