I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
