matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
