my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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