sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
