I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
