Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I don't think brook has ever known best
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Im just a social blackout drinker.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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