on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
