I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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