It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
