Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
