wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize