I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There r osticjed everywhere
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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