im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
