You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
