Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
