Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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