no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
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Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
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The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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