last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
