Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
