I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
