So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I wish i was in the wii world.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
