Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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