exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Blood and glitter go together right?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
