Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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