he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
