You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
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walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
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Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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