i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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