i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
