So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
