I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
