so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
