Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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