you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
